Before I took early retirement, and wrote Lottie Loser, I was a Retail Market Leader for a large midwestern bank. I loved my job, and one of my favorite parts was coaching my team to be the best that they could be. Recently coaching in general has become a reoccurring conversation in my life, and has really made me stop and think about what it takes to be a good coach. And more importantly, how does a coach command respect, as well as the desired outcome from their team?
So was I a good coach? I like to think so, but being a good coach is more than just high fives, and attaboys. It’s also more than berating someone for making a mistake, or not allowing them a second chance to make things right. I lived by the rule of telling the person something they’d done well, then sharing my concern over an issue I’d witnessed, and finally asking for their input in how they could have handled things differently. 99% of the time the problem was resolved without humiliation, or crushed feelings.
My teenage grandkids are big into sports, and I have several friends with kids or grandkids who are as well, which means I’ve been able to witness coaching at its best, and at its worst. Like most grandparents I’m in my grandkids corners unconditionally. I love them, so maybe I’m blind to errors they make on the court, or maybe I’m not, but I am forgiving. So when I see a so called coach berate a child, mine or someone else’s, it doesn’t sit well.
Which brings me to my next concern. What do you do when a coach goes overboard with their intimidation tactics? All parents know the golden rule of NOT talking with a coach, or going over their head, on behalf of their kids, but if that’s the case, the coach has total control, and that’s scary.
The court cases of the last year should have taught us all one thing. And that is we should all have the right to express our concerns when someone is using their power over us because they know no one will call them out on it.
Please know that I’m not advocating for parents to whine to coaches because their child isn’t getting enough playing time. But, they should have the right to express their concerns over bullying and punishments being handed to their child, without fear of repercussions. I had someone over me who made sure I was coaching fairly and accurately, and I coached adults. Is it too much to ask that the people we hire to coach our kids have the same type of accountability?
Google UNFAIR COACHES REVISITED for more on this subject.
Until we read again…📚
Dana L. ❤️